Don't Throw In The Towel: How to Keep Swinging When You're Against the Ropes

Life is inevitable. We all will experience some kind of event that can cause us to suffer in more ways than one. The smallest of things could send anyone over the edge, especially when you already have so much weight on your shoulders. We all have our own methods to cope and get through our times of turmoil, and I’d like to share what has helped me get through some of my lowest moments.

Reflection/Accept Responsibility - Assess where you are, what’s going on, and how you feel. Sit with yourself and your thoughts. Think about your situation. There are plenty of things that are out of our control, yet there are plenty of things that we could take more responsibility for. Repeated thoughts and actions will only help you or hurt you and you are the only person that can control the two. Take responsibility for your reality.

Acknowledge - Most times we tend to overlook the things bothering us. Stop that. Confront issues head on. Don't do it brazenly in a way that could harm you or those around you. Treat yourself and others with respect. Don't try to convince yourself of things that aren't true. If you are hurt, admit you're hurt. If someone is crossing your boundaries, express that. If a situation or task has you overwhelmed, don't ignore it and try to push through it. Allow yourself to be a human, reassess, then continue to move forward. Acknowledgement is an ingredient to peace because it's a straightforward path. It cuts out everything unnecessary and identifies the problem and solutions. Ignorance isn't as bliss as we think.

Allow Things to Flow - After you acknowledge your situation and your emotions, allow them all to flow. Emotions don't last forever, so don't let them. Feel them then let them go. I look at life as cycles, or even a heartbeat. There are highs and lows in life. When things have been going good for some time, I know that something opposite will be coming. However, when things aren't as I'd like, I know that good fortune is coming and I just have to get to it. An old coworker of mine told me "Reggie, you gotta take the bad with the good and the good with the bad. It won't always be all good...but it won't always be all bad either."

Self-Expression - Write, journal, create something, find ways to safely and freely express your emotions. I’m sure whoever’s reading this is some type of artist or creator so I’m sure you can relate. Getting lost in expressing yourself is a great way (for me at least) to temporarily escape the truth of reality. Whether I’m drawing, painting, designing, or making music, I’m able to let my mind just go! It can wander freely and express my current emotions how it sees fit, in ways that are natural to me. Channeling my focus into creating also boosts my dopamine. It’s a good and relieving feeling once the project is done.

Community - Every fighter must fight their battles alone, but that doesn't mean they don't have a full team behind them. So who's in your corner? Everyone doesn't have to be the same or fulfill the same roles, but everyone should be adding to you being a better you. If your corner isn't expecting the best from you then why are they in your corner? If you're getting upset because your corner is expecting the best from you, then reassess and think of what they see in you that you don't see in yourself. Your corner is your foundation so make sure you have a strong one. Allow them to lift you up because you in turn lift them up, and they'll only continue to raise you higher then it's a never ending cycle. The people we love may not always love us back, but there are people that have and will always anyway. That's your corner.

List of Gratitude - What are the things you're grateful for? Think of everything big and small, vague and specific, important or unimportant, then jot those things down. Read the list aloud to yourself as many times as necessary, then place it somewhere that's easily accessible for you when you need the reminder. When I was a kid contemplating suicide for the things I perceived as a bad life, my subconscious always reminded me of all the things that make me happy and bring peace. For me it was the love of my niece, giving my mother a kiss, the handshake me and my grandmother had, knowing my sisters hold me dear in their heart, knowing my brothers rely on me, knowing my friends look up to me, are just a few of the things that kept me in the fight when I wanted it to be over. I find that a list of gratitude can almost ensure you get a second wind.

"Life Goes On" - Before Twelve Rounds, my life motto got me through any and everything. It's a simple statement that's so blunt and powerful. It reminds me that no matter what it is I'm going through, anything I'm feeling, or even anything the world is experiencing...the world is going to keep spinning. There are people that will never have any knowledge of your trials and tribulations because they have their own. There's an endless list of problems, old and new, that all life has faced since the beginning of times. But there's currently almost 8 billion people in the world and with all those problems, humanity continues to endure, persevere, and thrive. I have hope in humanity because I can look outside and see individuals who have survived everything they've been through. Regardless of how it looks on the outside, that's a person who has had their heartbroken, lost a loved one, endured pain, sickness, betrayal, poverty, and plenty more but yet they still give life whatever they have. And sometimes there's no other reason you have besides knowing that life goes on. 

Sometimes you just have to know that things are going to get better. Life is inevitable. We want good, happy, easy, clear, and comfortable all the time, but that's just not how life is. Suffering, defeat, failure, loss, etc. is all bound to arise at some point. However, none of it lasts forever. There are moments in darkness where there will be random sparkles, and eventually that darkness will be drowned out by pure light. While traveling through that light, know and understand that the rain and clouds will come back, but at least now you have some techniques to keep you flying. Reflect and take responsibility, then acknowledge the reality of things. Give yourself and your life grace by allowing things to flow (while still taking responsibility for the things you can control). When you need a healthy escape and distraction, submerge yourself in your favorite forms of self-expression and let go of everything. Don't overlook or forget about your community and the people in your corner. Make sure they're strong, solid, and always pushing you to the be best. Create a physical list of all the things you're grateful for in life and go over that list whenever you forget about the things that really matter to you. Lastly, never forget that life will always go on. It doesn't matter how bleak things may seem, it's not over until it's really over. So as long as you're alive, there's always a chance to Keep Swinging.

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